Scriplets from my Left Brain

Friday, April 29, 2005

karrupu ...

'enna oru majja ..entha parka la ulla bench la udkarnthu relax pannina ,sorgam nu solluvangale athu puriuthu " ..Ameer was feeling the calmness ,the relaxation -When he sits on the bench ,nothing can distract his concentration ,nothing can ..Penvasanai ,Manvasanai -ondrum seiyaathu .....

"Have you ever felt being bit lonely or a bit afraid ?" his friend prasad asked .."Dei yepadi da innum bramacharya va irruka .....unnaku oru ponnu kuda vazhanum nu aasaya illaya ....it is different to have a woman by your side da Ammer ..iam not refeering to satisfying our inherent sexual desires ,but the feeling of completeness ,feeling of secure,satisfaction comes when you live with a woman ...."...

Ameer seldom gave replies for these questions-he can clearly feel the motive of these questions -Majority of them came not out of a genuine concern ,but just for name sake ...or jealous that 'How come this Ameer is able to live without a woman while i have to remain as a hen pecked husband ?'...Ammer knew all this ...But -deep within he too had desires of marrying a woman ,having kids ,kids taking care of him ..all dreams ...But are they possible ?Who will marry me ?Even if some one wishes ,iam not ready to spoil her life .....

He started Reading the book ..Infact he feels every book he reads ...Books are not just words ,not just dome groups of words ,not just group of dots ..They are the manifestations of a mind ...Mind itself ....Today Ameer was reading Swami Vivekananda ...

'Enna perisu ,book yellam sokka padikirra ' ,kabali came ,half drunk ...'enda kabali ,unne kudikatha nu yevalavu thadava sonnalum ketka mateengira ..it will destroy ur liver ,illaya ?' ....'Ada po perisu ,naan kuda thaan solren ,nee book ka padikatha ,un mulaya keduthudum nu ,nee kekiriyaa ..athu mathiri thaan ethuvum ' ....Kabali was just a cycle shop owner ,but he lives a life of a car manufacturer,atleast in his mind ..No worries ,no shorcuts ,no Hishonesty ,no cheatings - Simple ,clean life ..

'Yepadi entha age la nee entha book vechu padikirra ..ennaku un book a partha oru mannum puriala ..apadiye nee vasichu katinalum ,yen mandaiku oru mannum puriala ' ,kabali sighed ...Kabali had saved Ameer on multiple occasions ,mostly when crossing the road ...Public transport does not show respect for people of his age ...
'Dei ,Kabali ..Nee entha book padikanum theva illa .....Already ,ur life is good da .A family's prosperity shows in the face of the children ...Yesterday ur son danapal came .....Do you how intelligent he is ?How honest ! He was very sad that i did not see his paintaings !!

'Perisu ,anga paaru ...rendu ponunga unniye parkuthu ..!!' ...athrista katta nee perisu .....Kabali giggled .....'Yennaku antha luck yellam illa ....unnaku nalla vazhvu ' ....

'Dei kabali ,avanga -yenna sympathy oda parkirangala ?' ..
'Ammam perisu ..ennamo ethu varaikum parkatha mathir parkeeranga ..apadi enna thana unitta irruko ?!
'
'nenachen ....Ammer thought to himself ..Am i an object of sympathy here ?What do i lack in my life ?Money ? Good Mind ?Good Body ?Friends ?Reasonabel Social Life ?...Why are they seeing as though i have lost my life ! - It is they who are losing their lives ......by comparing themselves with others ,by being jealous ,being unsatisfied in everything ,by continously increasing their desires ,by falling to false words .....hmm ..'yarruku venum entha mathiri vaazhkai ' ..........Can they feel as i feel ?DO they feel for others ?DO they give gifts from heart ? ..hmm ....evnagla veeda nan evalvu vo mel !!!

'enna perisu ,enga pora '..kabali asked ..

'veetuku thaan ..Saying this Ameer picked up his Holding stick ,his cooling glasses and most importantly his Braille book on Swami Vivekananda and walked towards the exit ....

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